This baby is made of pineapple.
The Big O was made of canned pineapple. When I was pregnant with him, I ate so
much canned pineapple. I liked it before the pregnancy, sure, but during
pregnancy I craved-craved-craved it; I devoured it; I ate as much
as I possibly could. It's amazing the Big O turned out as healthy as he did--being made entirely of pineapple can't be quite what the angels intended, though I suppose it's better than pickles and ice cream.
I remember one time when we were purchasing large quantities of Geisha Pineapple (my favorite brand) at the Macey's in Provo.
The bagger: "So, you like pineapple?"
Me: "Yep, I LOVE it!"
The bagger: "I like it too, but man . . . did you leave any on the shelf?!"
He was completely justified in making this comment. It was a lot of pineapple.
At any rate, it worked. The Baby-Making Pineapple Diet made a delightful ball of gooing fat which has grown into a delightful toddler who can make with a toilet. No doubt even the Teenager-Born-of-Pineapple will spend his Saturdays washing our cars and doing our laundry. Pineapple is the secret to successful parenting.
I suppose Big O's pineapple make-up explains why he likes pineapple so much. (Although he prefers fresh. The elitist. The snob. The Pineapple Snootypants. Never create a child using only one ingredient! At least remember the snakes
and puppydog tails
As for the current alien developing within me, it has thus far been composed mostly of applesauce. For most of this first trimester, my primary nutrition source has been applesauce. Applesauce for breakfast, applesauce for lunch, applesauce for dinner, and an applesauce chaser to send me to bed.
Although now, at the time of this writing, I am no longer eating applesause because I'm sick-sick-sick
of it and it now makes my stomach feel worse
--not to mention it has started hurting my teeth.
The apples are rising up against me.
So now I am curious what foodstuffs the rest
of the baby will be made of. And whether they will prove successful as baby parts--as was my beloved pineapple.